Raiders of the Lost Archive: Quest for the Family Jewels

What happens when you accidentally take a dick pic of an Ancient Greek statue in the British Museum? Make a game about testicles, obviously! To be precise Raiders of the Lost Archive: Quest for the Family Jewels. 

This is exactly what happened in Autumn of 2017 when I was out doing field research for an entirely different game. I needed a reference picture of said statue, but I’m quite small and the statue was very tall, so the picture I ended up with was mostly of its balls (and very small penis). 

Upon sending this to my coworkers (for reference purposes!) I realized what I had done… and then had an idea. 

Valentine’s Day would be on us in a couple of months, and so far, we didn’t have any solid promotional ideas for the holiday. Well, then, why don’t I create a game about going through a museum and locating historical balls? I pitched this to the rest of the team, who initially responded with: “You what?” but then agreed with a resounding yes! 

And so I started researching and designing the game. This meant countless hours spent at the British Museum hunting down the most interesting testes, with the most fascinating stories attached to them. Who knew balls could be so fascinating! 

If you want to read more the brilliant Sofia Romualdo, who is currently doing a PhD residency at Fire Hazard Games, has written about Family Jewels and museum games in general on her blog Delirium Ludens!

Some of my favorite artifacts were the fountain where you had to count the balls (it was a trick question), the curse tablets for petty wrongs (the ancient subtweet), and anything to do with Priapus!

As well as being proud of this game for its fun subject matter and good reviews from couples looking to do something a little different for Valentines, I was also pleased with how I’d managed to create it with such a small turnaround time. With a nearly sold-out run in February, we are planning on bringing it back soon.

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